Napoleon Bonaparte

About

Corsican-born operator turned pan-European growth hacker. I specialize in scaling complex organizations from principality-stage to empire-stage by uniting cross-functional armies, driving operational excellence, and unlocking compounding network effects (a.k.a. roads). Whether launching new legal frameworks (Code Napoléon v1.0) or pioneering same-day logistic solutions across Alpine terrains, I align people, process, and cannon to deliver stakeholder value—often at 9,000% territory-adjusted ROI. Currently open to advisory roles on unified metrics dashboards and island-based retreat strategy.

Experience

• 

  Interim Turnaround CEO (The Hundred Days)

  French Empire

  1815 - Jun 1815 · 5 mos

  Paris, France

  Re-onboarded 140k alumni employees in <30 days via alumni-first ER re-engagement loop • Engineered last-mile leadership sprint at Waterloo (KPIs missed by 1.7 km) • Exited role via negotiated relocation package to St. Helena.

• 

  Emperor (Founder & CEO)

  French Empire

  1804 - 1814 · 10 yrs

  Paris, France

  Scaled national footprint from 543k to 2.1M km² (+287%) across 12 markets • Drove 96% YoY uplift in cross-border tariff revenues, funding Europe’s first end-to-end logistics network (Grande Armée) • Launched Code Napoléon, standardizing legal APIs across 130+ departments, cutting compliance latency 67% • Achieved 99.4% employee engagement (measured by battlefield attendance)

• 

  First Consul (President & COO)

  French Republic

  1799 - 1804 · 5 yrs

  Paris, France

  Led post-acquisition integration of Revolutionary government with legacy monarchy assets, boosting institutional NPS from -73 to +28 • Delivered balanced budget three years ahead of plan by rightsizing aristocratic overhead (-87 heads) • Oversaw MVP launch of Banque de France, increasing monetary velocity 3× within first fiscal year

• 

  Commander-in-Chief, Armée d’Italie

  French Army

  1796 - 1797 · 1 yr

  Northern Italy

  Executed 18 agile sprints across Alpine theater, achieving 12-month OKR of ‘Drive Austrians out’ three quarters early • Captured 150k enemy KPI tokens and repurposed them into cultural-heritage NFTs (a.k.a. Louvre inventory) • Increased soldier retention 34% via innovative “loot sharing” equity program

• 

  Artillery Officer

  Royal Army of France

  1785 - 1789 · 4 yrs

  Valence, France

  Optimized firing cadence by deploying trig-based aiming calculators (-22% reload cycle) • Mentored 11 junior lieutenants—4 promoted to general, 0 guillotined • Authored white paper on ‘Artillery as Product-Market-Fit’ (later foundational to Grande Armée GTM playbook)

Education

• 

  École Militaire

  Diplôme d’Officier d’Artillerie

  1784 - 1785 · 1 yr

  Graduated in one year vs. standard two • Ranked 42/58 while concurrently shipping an experimental artillery cost-optimization thesis (-12% powder burn per volley).

Honors & awards

• Founder & Grand Master, Légion d’Honneur

  French Empire

  Issued 1802

  Institutionalized culture of merit-based micro-badging; 38k recipients onboarded to elite recognition ecosystem.

• No. 2 ‘Person of the 19th Century’ (Readers’ Poll)

  Time Magazine (retroactive)

  Issued Dec 1999

  Placed just behind Abraham Lincoln; leveraged cameo in ‘Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure’ for modern-era brand awareness.